Wednesday, November 3, 2010


Who among us has not experienced the exquisite disappointment upon biting into an oatmeal-raisin cookie when you THOUGHT you were actually biting into a delectable chocolate chip cookie? The ensuing shock is enough to bring a grown man to his knees. Especially if he hates raisins. Which he has every right to.

If only all raisins could be chocolate chips. Raisins wish they were chocolate chips. In reality, a raisin is nothing more than a chocolate chip's sub-par fruity and rubbery evil twin. Raisins are wrinkly and sticky and brown-purple and clumpy and have you SMELLED raisin breath?

I don't care what you or anyone else says.

Raisins are nature's boogers and they must go.