Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Back to School Part 2: Tall-Fountain Hogs

Most drinking fountains come in pairs. One tall, one short. The short one is awkward to use, especially while wearing a heavy backpack. There is nothing worse than having your backpack avalanche forward onto your head when you are crouched down, trying to get a few sips of water out of a too-low drinking fountain. It almost always results in cranial injury or water up your nose.

BYU has many, many drinking fountains. BYU also has many, many socially unaware individuals who feel it is necessary to fill up their water bottle at the tall drinking fountain.

Why. Why do they do this? Water bottles take for-ev-er to fill up, and most people don't have time in between classes to wait for the water bottle hog to finish replenishing their stupid nalgene before the bell rings.

Ergo, the short drinking fountain is all that is left to quench the thirst of the short, average, and giant-sized students waiting in line. It really irks me when I see dumb-dumbs on their bedazzled cell phones blissfully filling their water bottles while the football player next to them is trying, in vain, to drink out of a water fountain positioned knee-high.

Tall drinking fountain water bottle hogs MUST GO. Use. The. Short. One.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Back To School Part 1 : Walkway Blockers

Walkway blockers.

You know who you are. And if you ARE a walkway blocker, you deserve to be round-house kicked in the face by a sasquatch with a wicked case of athlete's foot. And that was not a hyperbole.

I'm glad you happened to run into your roommate on campus. I'm happy that you are sooooo excited to see her that you make a scene while you greet her with ridiculous enthusiasm. BUT. I am not happy that you are preventing me and the other 500 students around you from getting to class on time. Trust me. You do not want to get into an altercation with me while I am sweaty from feverishly trying to get across campus.

Just like a car parked in the fast lane on the freeway, you are ruining lives and you are a hazard.

Walkway blockers must go.

Back to School

Sorry for the long break between posts. School started up again, and I have actually been concentrating on my school work. (Weird).

The next few posts will be special posts, dedicated to everything that must go when it comes to school. Feel free to comment with ideas for future school-related posts.