Friday, August 24, 2012

Raw Broccoli

If it's cool for a vegetable to smell rotten when it is actually perfectly fresh, we should just stop right now and call broccoli the champion of the universe. Oh wait, it's not cool to eat something that smells like a massive turd? My mistake.

Seriously. Who enjoys raw broccoli? The smell impaired, no doubt. The texture of raw broccoli also leaves something to be desired, and the cabbage-ish taste really just doesn't cut it. I have never understood the allure of eating cold, tough, waxy veggie trees. Now, expertly steamed broccoli? THAT is divine. I'll eat that crap by the boatload. The enjoyability of broccoli is inversely proportionate to it's rawness, with an asymptote carefully placed at "cooked to perfection."

Raw broccoli must go.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

PT Cruisers

PT Cruisers look like the mutant spawn of a VW Beetle bred with a hearse.

This post could end there, could it not?

When PT Cruisers made their debut in 2000, I thought the world had gone absolutely insane. Who in their RIGHT MIND would drop 20 grand on that? Apparently, lots of folks. I have hated every PT Cruiser I have ever laid my troubled eyes upon, but ESPECIALLY the dark purple (not maroon... purple) model that zipped around my neighborhood in the Cruiser's hey day.

Thankfully, the production of the PT Cruiser stopped in 2010. Unfortunately, I'm sure there will be ugly little used PTs cruising around for many more years to come. I will never truly experience happiness until I know the last PT Cruiser in the world  has been destroyed.

PT Cruisers must go.