Thursday, August 18, 2011

Cyclists Who Don't Stop at Stop Signs

Look. I know you're on a bike because you are better than me. You are either environmentally aware, or you can't afford a car. You not being able to afford a car still makes you better than me, because we both know that you are in far better shape than my car-riding butt.

I also realize that it is much easier to coast slowly and then pick up speed again than it is to stop completely and regain momentum. I feel for you. I really do.

However, the convenience you enjoy by rolling through stop signs is vastly outweighed by the years of psychotherapy I will be sure to endure after the hood of my car launches you and your little bike through the air, onto an unsuspecting elderly person's manicured lawn. Not to mention your full body cast and the inability to pronounce your own name for several months.

I would say "Cyclists Who Don't Stop at Stop Signs Must GO..." but in this situation, I think it's safe to say:

Cyclists who don't stop at stop signs must STOP.

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What must go, must go.